Mormons believe that the family is the most fundamental unit in God’s plan for our time on earth. Families are considered to be ordained by God and created to help us achieve our eternal goals.

Mormons have one belief about families that is very unique and which is comforting to those grieving after the death of a loved ones. Mormon beliefs teach that families were meant to last forever.

God intended for each marriage to have the potential to last forever. He does not advocate divorce except in specific circumstances, such as abuse or infidelity. In ordinary circumstances, He wants couples to work hard to make their families successful and, not being an advocate of divorce, He would never force worthy couples to divorce upon the death of one spouse or the other:

4 And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female,

 5 And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?

 6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder (Matthew 19, King James translation of the Holy Bible).

Jesus explained that Moses allowed for divorce due to the hardness of the hearts of his people, but that God had not earlier allowed it. Divorce is not God’s invention and those who lightly choose it will be held accountable.

Nor would God rob a person of the family he or she loves. Many of us have experienced being in a wonderful place or situation and longing for our families to be there to share the experience. Somehow, not having them along took away from the joy of the moment.

God has promised us that in Heaven we will be happier than we ever imagined possible. Who among us who loves someone could be happier than ever imagined without those we love? When we go to Heaven, we will be ourselves, taking with us what is in our hearts and minds, including our love. We will be able to live together as families, just as we did on earth, sharing the joys of eternity together.

Most people, even those who think they don’t believe in eternal families, know this deep in their hearts. It comes to light when someone dies and they say, “At least Mom and Dad are together again,” or they comfort a child with the promise that “your mommy is in heaven and someday you’ll see her again.” Their heart knows what the world has tried to take from them intellectually, that a loving God will give us an opportunity to be together forever. Agreeing to marry someone for eternity is a powerful assurance of the love two people have for each other and is a comfort to their children. Children can grow up feeling safe and secure knowing their parents will always be theirs.

Following are some thoughts the current Mormon prophet, Thomas S. Monson, has on the subject of eternal families.

Building an Eternal Home

A home is much more than a house built of lumber, brick, or stone. A home is made of love, sacrifice, and respect. We are responsible for the homes we build. We must build wisely, for eternity is not a short voyage. There will be calm and wind, sunlight and shadows, joy and sorrow. But if we really try, our home can be a bit of heaven here on earth. The thoughts we think, the deeds we do, the lives we live not only influence the success of our earthly journey, they also mark the way to our eternal goals.

Some Latter-day Saint families are comprised of mother, father, and children, all at home, while others have witnessed the tender departure of one, then another, then another of their members. Sometimes a single individual comprises a family. Whatever its composition, the family continues—for families can be forever.

We can learn from the master architect—even the Lord. He has taught us how we must build. He declared, “Every … house divided against itself shall not stand” (Matt. 12:25). Later He cautioned, “Behold, mine house is a house of order … and not a house of confusion” (D&C 132:8).

In a revelation given through the Prophet Joseph Smith at Kirtland, Ohio, December 27, 1832, the Master counseled, “Organize yourselves; prepare every needful thing; and establish a house, even a house of prayer, a house of fasting, a house of faith, a house of learning, a house of glory, a house of order, a house of God” (D&C 88:119; see also D&C 109:8).

Where could any of us locate a more suitable blueprint whereby he could wisely and properly build? Such a house would meet the building code outlined in Matthew, even a house built “upon a rock” (Matt. 7:24, 25; see also Luke 6:48; 3 Ne. 14:24, 25), a house capable of withstanding the rains of adversity, the floods of opposition, and the winds of doubt everywhere present in our changing and challenging world.

Thomas S. Monson, “Heavenly Homes, Forever Families,” Liahona, Jun 2006, 66–71

A Mother’s Most Important Treasure

A gentle, soft-spoken mother had passed away. She left to her stalwart sons and lovely daughters no fortune of finance but, rather, a heritage of wealth in example, in sacrifice, in obedience. After the funeral eulogies had been spoken and the sad trek to the cemetery had been made, the grown family sorted through the meager possessions the mother had left. Louis discovered a note and also a key. The note instructed: “In the corner bedroom, in the bottom drawer of my dresser, is a tiny box. It contains the treasure of my heart. This key will open the box.” Another son asked, “What could Mother have of sufficient value to be placed under lock and key?” A sister commented, “Dad has been gone all these years, and Mother has had precious little of this world’s goods.”

The box was removed from its resting place in the dresser drawer and opened carefully with the aid of the key. What did it contain? No money, no deed, no precious rings or valuable jewels. Louis took from the box a faded photograph of his father. On the back of the photograph was the penned message, “My dear husband and I were sealed together for time and all eternity in the House of the Lord, at Salt Lake City, December 12, 1891.”

Next there emerged an individual photo of each child, with his or her name and birth date. Finally, Louis held to the light a homemade valentine. In crude, childlike penmanship, which he recognized as his own, Louis read the words he had written 60 years before: “Dear Mother, I love you.”

Hearts were tender, voices soft, and eyes moist. Mother’s treasure was her eternal family. Its strength rested on the bedrock foundation of “I love you.”

Thomas S. Monson, “The Doorway of Love,” Ensign, Oct 1996, 2

Reassurance at Death of an Eternal Family

Contemplating such far-reaching matters, we reflect upon the helplessness of a newborn child. No better example can be found for total dependency. Needed is nourishment for the body and love for the soul. Mother provides both. She who, with her hand in the hand of God, descended into “the valley of the shadow of death” (Ps. 23:4), that you and I might come forth to life, is not in her maternal mission abandoned by God.

Several years ago, the Salt Lake City newspapers published an obituary notice of a close friend—a mother and wife taken by death in the prime of her life. I visited the mortuary and joined a host of persons gathered to express condolence to the distraught husband and motherless children. Suddenly the smallest child, Kelly, recognized me and took my hand in hers.

“Come with me,” she said; and she led me to the casket in which rested the body of her beloved mother. “I’m not crying, Brother Monson, and neither must you. My mommy told me many times about death and life with Heavenly Father. I belong to my mommy and my daddy. We’ll all be together again.”

Through tear-moistened eyes, I recognized a beautiful and faith-filled smile. To my young friend, whose tiny hand yet clasped mine, there would never be a hopeless dawn. Sustained by her unfailing testimony, knowing that life continues beyond the grave, she, her father, her brothers, her sisters, and indeed all who share this knowledge of divine truth, can declare to the world, “Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning” (Ps. 30:5).

Thomas S. Monson, “An Invitation to Exaltation,” Ensign, May 1988, 53

Family life is a central aspect of God’s plan for us. In a good home, children learn to live a Christ-like life, and prepare for a productive and meaningful adulthood. People who put family first find their lives are filled with more meaning

than they could ever find in a me-first lifestyle. Following are some thoughts from Thomas Monson, Mormon prophet, on families and family life.

Home as a Source of Peace

When the seas of life are stormy, a wise mariner seeks a port of peace. The family, as we have traditionally known it, is such a refuge of safety. “The home is the basis of a righteous life and no other instrumentality can take its place or fulfil its essential functions.”  Actually, a home is much more than a house. A house is built of lumber, brick, and stone. A home is made of love, sacrifice, and respect. A house can be a home, and a home can be a heaven when it shelters a family. When true values and basic virtues undergird the families of society, hope will conquer despair, and faith will triumph over doubt.

Such values, when learned and lived in our families, will be as welcome rain to parched soil. Love will be engendered; loyalty to one’s best self will be enhanced; and those virtues of character, integrity, and goodness will be fostered. The family must hold its preeminent place in our way of life because it’s the only possible base upon which a society of responsible human beings has ever found it practicable to build for the future and maintain the values they cherish in the present.

Happy homes come in a variety of appearances. Some feature families with father, mother, brothers, and sisters living together in a spirit of love. Others consist of a single parent with one or two children, while other homes have but one occupant. There are, however, identifying features which are to be found in a happy home, whatever the number or description of its family members. These identifying features are:

A pattern of prayer.

A library of learning.

A legacy of love.

Thomas S. Monson, “Dedication Day,” Ensign, Nov 2000, 64–66

Families as Society’s Hope for the Future

The place of parents in the home and family is of vital importance as we examine our personal responsibilities in this regard. A distinguished group met in conference to examine the increase of violence in the lives of individuals, particularly the young. Some observations from their deliberations are helpful to us as we examine our priorities:

“A society that views graphic violence as entertainment … should not be surprised when senseless violence shatters the dreams of its youngest and brightest. …

“… Unemployment and despair can lead to desperation. But most people will not commit desperate acts if they have been taught that dignity, honesty and integrity are more important than revenge or rage; if they understand that respect and kindness ultimately give one a better chance at success. …

“The women of the anti-violence summit have hit on the solution—the only one that can reverse a downward spiral of destructive behavior and senseless pain. A return to old-fashioned family values will work wonders.” 6

So frequently we mistakenly believe that our children need more things, when in reality their silent pleadings are simply for more of our time. The accumulation of wealth or the multiplication of assets belies the Master’s teachings:

“Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal:

“But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal:

“For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.” 7

One evening I saw large masses of parents and children crossing an intersection in Salt Lake City en route to a large arena to see a production of Beauty and the Beast. I actually pulled my car over to the curb to watch the gleeful throng. Fathers, who I am certain were cajoled into going to the event, held tightly in their hands the small and clutching hands of their precious children. Here was love in action. Here was an unspoken sermon of caring. Here was a rearrangement of time as a God-given priority.

Truly peace will reign triumphant when we improve ourselves after the pattern taught by the Lord. Then we will appreciate the deep spirituality hidden behind the simple words of a familiar hymn: “There is beauty all around When there’s love at home.”

Thomas S. Monson, “Finding Peace,” Ensign, Mar 2004, 2–7

Happiness is Found at Home

Happiness does not consist of a glut of luxury, the world’s idea of a “good time.” Nor must we search for it in faraway places with strange-sounding names. Happiness is found at home.

All of us remember the home of our childhood. Interestingly, our thoughts do not dwell on whether the house was large or small, the neighborhood fashionable or downtrodden. Rather, we delight in the experiences we shared as a family. The home is the laboratory of our lives, and what we learn there largely determines what we do when we leave there.

Mrs. Margaret Thatcher, former prime minister of Great Britain, expressed the profound philosophy: “The family is the building block of society. It is a nursery, a school, a hospital, a leisure center, a place of refuge and a place of rest. It encompasses the whole of the society. It fashions our beliefs; it is the preparation for the rest of our life.”

“Home is where the heart is.” It does take “a heap o’ livin’ ” to make a house a home.  “Home, home, sweet, sweet home, Be it ever so humble, there’s no place like home.” We turn from the reverie of such pleasant recollections. We contemplate parents gone, family grown, childhood vanished. Slowly but surely we face the truth that we are responsible for the home we build. We must build wisely, for eternity is not a short voyage. There will be calm and wind, sunlight and shadows, joy and sorrow. But if we really try, our home can be a bit of heaven here on earth. The thoughts we think, the deeds we do, the lives we live influence not only the success of our earthly journey; they mark the way to our eternal goals.

In 1995 the First Presidency and the Council of the Twelve Apostles issued a proclamation to the world concerning the family. This proclamation states, in part: “Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities.”

Thomas S. Monson, “Hallmarks of a Happy Home,” Liahona, Oct 2001, 3

Thomas S. Monson knows a great deal about how to make marriage last. He has been married only once, and he and his wife Frances married in 1948. Here are some of his thoughts on the importance of a happy marriage.

I thank my Father in Heaven for my sweet companion, Frances. This October she and I will celebrate 60 wonderful years of marriage. Although my Church service began at an early age, she has never once complained when I’ve left home to attend meetings or to fulfill an assignment. For many years my assignments as a member of the Twelve took me away from Salt Lake City often-sometimes for five weeks at a time-leaving her alone to care for our small children and our home. Beginning when I was called as a bishop at the age of 22, we have seldom had the luxury of sitting together during a Church service. I could not have asked for a more loyal, loving, and understanding companion.

Thomas S. Monson, “Looking Back and Moving Forward,” Ensign, May 2008, 87-90

“Home is where the heart is.” It does take “a heap o’ livin’ ” to make a house a home. 4 “Home, home, sweet, sweet home, Be it ever so humble, there’s no place like home.” 5 We turn from the reverie of such pleasant recollections. We contemplate parents gone, family grown, childhood vanished. Slowly but surely we face the truth that we are responsible for the home we build. We must build wisely, for eternity is not a short voyage. There will be calm and wind, sunlight and shadows, joy and sorrow. But if we really try, our home can be a bit of heaven here on earth. The thoughts we think, the deeds we do, the lives we live influence not only the success of our earthly journey; they mark the way to our eternal goals.

In 1995 the First Presidency and the Council of the Twelve Apostles issued a proclamation to the world concerning the family. This proclamation states, in part: “Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities.” 6

Happy homes come in a variety of appearances. Some feature large families with father, mother, brothers, and sisters living together in a spirit of love. Others consist of a single parent with one or two children, while other homes have but one occupant. There are, however, identifying features which are to be found in a happy home, whatever the number or description of its family members. I refer to these as “Hallmarks of a Happy Home.” They consist of:

1. A pattern of prayer.

2. A library of learning.

3. A legacy of love.

4. A treasury of testimony.

Thomas S. Monson, “Hallmarks of a Happy Home,” Ensign, Oct 2001, 2-8

On October 7, my wife, Frances, and I will have been married forty years. Our marriage took place just to the east of us in the holy temple. He who performed the ceremony, Benjamin Bowring, counseled us: “May I offer you newlyweds a formula which will ensure that any disagreement you may have will last no longer than one day? Every night kneel by the side of your bed. One night, Brother Monson, you offer the prayer, aloud, on bended knee. The next night you, Sister Monson, offer the prayer, aloud, on bended knee. I can then assure you that any misunderstanding that develops during the day will vanish as you pray. You simply can’t pray together and retain any but the best of feelings toward one another.”

When I was called to the Council of the Twelve just twenty-five years ago this weekend, President McKay asked me concerning my family. I related to him this guiding formula of prayer and bore witness to its validity. He sat back in his large leather chair and, with a smile, responded, “The same formula that has worked for you has blessed the lives of my family during all the years of our marriage.”

Thomas S. Monson, “Hallmarks of a Happy Home,” Ensign, Nov 1988, 69

Sustain your husband. In speaking to missionaries, I frequently counsel them: “Love your companion. Make him a part of all you do. He may be short or tall, thin or fat, handsome or homely-but he’s all yours.” I think I need not elaborate on the analogy. Your husband is yours. Together you form a partnership with God. Your husband, as the priesthood bearer, is the head of the home. You, the helpmeet, are not the head, but just as important-the heart of the home.

Honor his priesthood, and he will respect your womanhood. Both husband and wife should appreciate that “woman was taken out of man, … not out of his feet to be trampled underfoot, but out of his side to be equal to him, under his arm to be protected, and near his heart to be loved.” (M. Henry.)

Be patient, be tender, be loving, be considerate, be understanding, be your best self as you sustain your husband.

Thomas S. Monson, “The Women’s Movement: Liberation or Deception?,” Ensign, Jan 1971, 17

Happiness abounds when there is genuine respect one for another. Wives draw closer to their husbands, and husbands are more appreciative of their wives, and children are happy, as children are meant to be. Where there is respect in the home, children do not find themselves in that dreaded “never never land”-never the object of concern, never the recipient of proper parental guidance.

To those who are not yet married, I counsel: People who marry in the hope of forming a permanent partnership require certain skills and attitudes of mind. They must be skillful in adapting to each other. They need capacity to work out mutual problems. They need willingness to give and take in the search for harmony. They need unselfishness of the highest sort, with thought for one’s partner taking the place of desire for oneself.

Many years ago I had the opportunity to deliver a commencement address to a graduating class. I had gone to the home of President Hugh B. Brown that we might drive together to the university where he was to conduct the exercises and I was to speak. As President Brown entered my car, he said, “Wait a moment.” He looked toward the large bay window of his lovely home, and then I realized what he was looking for. The curtain parted, and I saw Sister Zina Brown, his beloved companion of well over fifty years, at the window, propped up in a wheelchair, waving a little white handkerchief. President Brown took from his inside coat pocket a white handkerchief, which he waved to her in return. Then, with a smile, he said to me, “Let’s go.”

As we drove, I asked President Brown to tell me about the sign of the white handkerchiefs. He related to me the following incident: “The first day after Sister Brown and I were married, as I went to work I heard a tap at the window, and there was Zina, waving a white handkerchief. I found mine and waved in reply. From that day until this I have never left my home without that little exchange between my wife and me. It is a symbol of our love one for another. It is an indication to one another that all will be well until we are joined together at eventide.” Yes, a model to follow, “an example of the believers

Thomas S. Monson, “‘An Example of the Believers’,” Ensign, Nov 1992, 97